Story of How a Love Story Became a Book.....NEW RELEASE

I was having dinner at Bucky’s at the Grand Hotel in Point Clear when I saw an older distinguished man sipping a martini and staring through the back window at the horizon of the Gulf of Mexico as the sun set.  And I knew him—not his name or the name of the woman he was missing and privately toasting with his small sips of that martini.  But I knew him, and the concentration of his memories filled the space around him and drew me to him, like a love song.  Like the great old love songs, I grew up singing.  Those songs fit his story.

When I got home, I wrote this story that happened to me when I saw a man whose name came with the sunset and the martini and the black grand piano he kept eyeing longingly:  Franklin Lovejoy.  

So, in a way this story is autobiographical.  

 LOVEJOY was inspired by a real-life sighting of a man who had been deeply in love and as it turns out with more than one woman.  It’s part of the mystery of writing that stories come this way from chance encounters or in this case, a chance sighting.  This is Lovejoy’s story—and mine, in a way. I hope it will be one you enjoy too

Grab a copy of Lovejoy now

New Mildred Budge Short Story Collection Just Published

What do church ladies really think?  

Daphne Simpkins continues answering this question in the just released collection of funny and poignant short stories that celebrate the secret lives of Southern church ladies.   Described by one reviewer as "wickedly funny" the stories in "The Mission of Mildred Budge" move gently from a description of evening worship in the first story "Pulling a Martin Luther" being like falling in love over and over again to the more serious story "Praying Hands and Other War Stories" that focuses on a wheelchair bound missionary who is still enthralled by the battle to tell the truth of the gospel from where she is sitting.  

The Mission of Mildred Budge

An excerpt from this story is on the back cover: 

"It's wonderful to have a gentleman caller who is unafraid to sweat and who will sit with you and drink anything."

Intrigued, Mildred asked, "Surely you have asked him his name?"

"Surely I have,"  Georgina replied. "But then I could tell he just wanted to be invisible like all of us.  You don't imagine that a man would ever want to be like one of us.  Powerfully silent.  Stealthily invisible.  He wanted to understand our freedom...a church lady's freedom."

That freedom is at the heart of this insider look at church life for both men and women in South, and freedom represents the abundant life promised in the gospel.  That truth is abundantly celebrated here, and readers will enjoy "The Mission of Mildred Budge."

To download a free sample of this book follow the link toThe Mission of Mildred Budge "

The Experience of Time When Writing in the Workplace

Often while teaching business writing, the class discussion would rightly veer off into a discussion of time management.  That’s a natural move because college execs-to- be were often in school and had jobs at the same time, so they said the phrase “time management” often.

We all do in our respective ways, but we don’t talk much about the management of time in terms of how technology has changed our experience of time and the pace of our human experience affected by technology and the demands of the workplace that often require writing.

There are two chief considerations to bear in mind when thinking about workplace writing and time:  writing takes longer than we want it to and the natural pace of human experience matches more comfortably to a healthily beating heart than a zooming fraction of a second transmission via the internet.

We call the speed and colors of technology for word processing and transmission the flashiest form of bells and whistles right now, but the dynamics that separate the bells and whistles from substance and persuasion are still the same.  For all of the speed and tools available to us, the dynamic of persuasion still rests upon how well you understand the reader, how well you present your message in light of a benefit for that reader, and whether you make as few mistakes as possible so that the style of your message does not hinder the reader’s ability to comprehend it.

Most of the time, good style is simply meant to keep the writer’s presence in the background and the reader’s attention in the forefront.  The dynamic that runs that persuasive power is simple courtesy. That answer is so simple—so easy—that we don’t want it to be true.  We want the answer to be complex and mysterious, because if it is complex and hard to understand we have a built-in reason to fail at reaching a reader with a message or information that needs to be integrated into the workplace experience called productivity, and, yes, time management.  However, good business writing is based on the dynamic of courtesy, and the more courteous you are the more naturally you assume a position that will cause your reader to trust you. 

The part of this answer that is hard is that it requires the writer to be more and more selfless while becoming more and more interested in what the reader needs and wants to know.  To do that—to do that—one must be assured that he/she understands who  the reader is and can separate the twin goals that run simultaneously through all business writing:  what purpose does the document being created need to achieve and what benefit does the reader need to receive in order to accept the intended purpose of the document.  In short, give the reader a benefit while you are trying to achieve your persuasive purpose for the document and you will have a much stronger hope of succeeding.

Naturally the question follows:  how well do you understand other people?  Can you prove you understand them or are you rationalizing your inclinations and making the situation fit what you want it to be?  Ultimately, through trial and error you can find out who other people are, how adept you are at perceiving who they are, and what it is they need that you can provide while also fulfilling your workplace goals. To do that, one must simply grow in mindfulness about writing, about people, about using words, about what punctuation really is, and how facing your fears by acknowledging them can help you become a fearless writer in the workplace whatever your innate relationship is with language.  The difference between business writing and all other kinds of writing is that it can learned.

Daphne writes about many topics.  Her latest book is Christmas in Fountain City

Off to College (an excerpt from A Cookbook for Katie)

Katie Goes to College

(Excerpt from A Cookbook for Katie  pg 145)

As you prepare to go to college I think about what I need to say to you as you head out the door.  I know you heard me about being leery of bald-headed men who drive convertibles and don’t have enough sense to wear a hat, and I know you heard me when I pointed out that man jogging around the neighborhood in his underwear and the implications of both his self-possession and our response to his comfort level of exposed vulnerability in front of strangers (us). We decided he posed one of those questions that we don’t need to answer.

He is, Katie.  That man jogging in his underwear is emblematic of many oddities in life that do not require you to make sense of them.

Let the memory of him remind you to turn your attention to the questions relevant right now for you on a college campus.

For the most part I have left the questions about romance and religion to your mother, except for those occasions when you have asked me a direct question about my own faith.  I have told you the truth about Jesus. What you need to remember always is that Jesus is real and the Bible tells the truth about Him. Although you will be going to college where they teach you questions and offer you often pat answers about the creation of life and its meaning, I can tell you that while the experience of college will be exhilarating in its open-ended exploration of the best ideas that men and women can come up with, there are many paths that lead nowhere in particular.  Some ideas require no more serious cogitation than that man jogging by us in his underwear did.

You’ve heard of wilderness experiences from the Old Testament.  Sometimes the freedom to explore tantalizing questions doesn’t turn out to be discovery at all—sometimes, those experiences are mainly circuitous meanderings-- wilderness experiences where the explorer wanders around looking at various strange trees, believing that by knowing the number of trees, time spent in wandering, and the amount of money spent on text books and tuition that you are going somewhere that will ultimately be validated as meaningful or a destination called progress.  Sometimes, the only real measure of that experience is that you survived it, but you don’t always learn something distinctively true and life or faith enhancing.

A big subject in college that often leads to a wilderness experience is the blanket assertion by scientific thinkers and logic advocates that evolution disproves the supremacy of God as the creator of you and this planet.  Evolution is a wonderful dynamic to explore.  It’s true in many aspects, by the way, but its implications are not.  The theory of evolution does not disprove that God made everything.  He made the dynamic of evolution.   To me, evolution’s most tantalizing feature is the creative dynamic of natural selection upon which an understanding of evolution is based. You can look at the scientific evidence and agree with what you see, but it does not disprove that God made everything.   You will need a different faculty in yourself to know this, and it won’t be reason alone, although, ideally, reason can take you there eventually, my dear. You will need to trust that part of your curiosity that is fused with imagination and which explores what reason alone cannot—you will need to let your soul keep company with the Holy Spirit of God and allow Him to lead you into all truth.  Jesus says that he will, and He will, because Jesus does not and cannot lie.  You will follow the history of dates and changes in human kind and animal life, and depending upon how far you pursue the investigation, you will find interesting data about the intersection of viruses on human life and the small big bangs of jumping genes as they inform our understanding of the human genome.  You will encounter many big words, beautifully constructed paradigms of science and also philosophy and poetry, but you will never get to the root of an explanation for why we humans are here that is more tantalizing or true than God created us for himself so that he could have someone to love.  And then He waits for us to love Him, and He asks us in excruciatingly tender ways to love one another.

Because we are paradoxically attracted to and terrified of being loved intimately and completely, we tend to leave or try to hide from God, so He sent Jesus to first find us and then explain Love to us again—to live and die Love.   Jesus didn’t leave us orphans when he finished his work here.  The Holy Spirit uses the intellectual advances of humankind to hint at aspects of God-Is-Love’s nature, but never mistake the ideas of men for the absolute truth about God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit.

 Even the very best preachers only come close occasionally to getting this right.   By this, I mean, the characterization of the nature of eternal love that is possible right now in communion with God which happens only because the Great Lover of Mankind (and Creator of it, too) has made this communion possible.  Your soul intersects with the Holy Spirit. In the Bible, this is referred to as tabernacling.  That gift fits inside what we call grace, and it means that God makes everything that is good that can happen between us possible.

To begin to experience grace, we simply have to believe God and put Him first.  Anything that comes before our love for Him is what He calls an idol.

            I suspect that because I have always called you Beloved and you have rightly signed your cards to me that way, you believe that I have made you into an idol of sorts.  There have been times when I felt you resisting my love because it was oppressive to you; I know it has been.  Unconditional love can feel like that to others, but it is not intended that way. I have loved you unconditionally, and you have never been an idol to me.  You have always been only a gift from God. But do you see how big that is—you, Katie Ellen, a gift from God?

I greatly admire you, Katie, my Beloved.  Most of the times I only tell you this in ways that you are used to hearing—pretty hair, pretty face.  But I see you much more deeply than that, and I know you are an authentic human being who is only temporarily seventeen and works at a pet store where you do not find the task of cleaning up pet poop beneath you. I admire that—as I enjoy how often you come home wanting to buy one of the dogs that you are responsible for showing to others.  It must be difficult to function something like a person in an adoption agency who must try and find needy animals homes and to make judgments (and how can we help it?) in that moment about whether the prospective parents—your store’s customers-- are good enough to raise the animals you already love.

As you weigh and assess the dangers of your customers becoming the parents of the dogs you love, think of how I must consider trusting you to strangers to raise—people like college teachers who are bound by their own pressures, driven by their own egos, and biased by questions that have haunted them all their lives and for which they are still looking for answers and may try to justify their inclinations and their answers by telling you information that isn’t always true.  They don’t usually know they’re lying.  They don’t usually know they have denied the truth of God because they are afraid of being completely and deeply loved by God.  They can’t believe that.  I know this is true mainly because I am a college teacher and some of my friends are people who are afraid of unconditional love. Sometimes I am, too, still.  I am as capable of being fearful and wrong as anyone, and I regularly monitor myself to make sure that I am not trying to justify my faith at the expense of people who don’t believe as I do and don’t want to.  They have that right.  It’s called free will, and I respect it without reservation.

Ultimately, as you begin your studies in college and soon declare yourself in a field of study, be happy and enjoy that pursuit, but the most open-ended intellectual and spiritual pursuit of yours or anyone’s life is the continued worship of and longing for Jesus and more of Him.  Listen carefully at college, and as you hear invitations to think about all kinds of ways that people organize meaning out of human experience, remember that all of them have an end.  All of them have a conclusion.

You are about to go and see more of the world than I can control, and I don’t want to.     The adventure is thrilling. But there is far more to being alive than learning the pieces of puzzles that fit inside a cerebral paradigm.  There is life itself, and that happens inside the living love of the Resurrected Savior whose ongoing mission is to keep talking to the Father about us, and all the while he is calling to us, whispering, beckoning, waiting.  He is there, is my point.  He lives.  Live with him and the puzzles of cerebral enterprises find a different place in what you value, and when you do, you are more alive, more thrilled, more free than in any other kind of simple thinking.  You are going off to college, and it is quite an adventure; but you will never find a greater adventure than following the Shepherd who will not lead you astray or unto any kind of death that you need ever fear.  Let every day begin with his name on your lips as you ask him to keep you company, and let every day end with gratitude for what he has given you, for he gives you your very life. As he has given me mine.

I cannot give you life or much more than words of encouragement like these as you go off to college.  In this world I have mainly been a college teacher, and I can only speak of what it is like on campus and what I have seen and what I can remember from my own days of venturing out.

I can imagine much. But I know this:  God loves you, Jesus is real, the Bible tells the truth, and if you would work on your penmanship and take care to use it when you are writing those essay exams in your college classes, your grades will shoot up.

Excerpt from  A Cookbook for Katie by Daphne Simpkins

That Should Have Worked

My father was a handyman who solved problems through trial and error.  He always succeeded but he failed along the way, muttering memorably for me: "That should have worked."

But his first tries often didn't work, and that puzzled him.  Stepping back from his projects, he would eye the recalcitrant leaking faucet or dead light fixture and go through his projected problem-solving steps out loud, concluding once again, "That should have worked."

Since then, I have heard computer guys do the same thing.  They understand technology, maneuver through it fearlessly and intuitively until one day they get stuck like the rest of us, and step back and say just as a handyman does:   "That should have worked."

Happily the opposite also happens, for I find that a book that shouldn't have sold as well as its sisters sells better, and essays (a.k.a.blog entries) will inexplicably gain a greater readership than the key words in the title would suggest they could.  The best read essay on this blog has the title "Thank you for your patience."

There is nothing grand about the title; all the words are common and the ideas in the blog entry are based upon good manners alone.  Yet, the essay is the most popular.

A book I wrote for my niece when she married A Cookbook for Katie shouldn't sell four times better than the other books I've written, but it does.   The premise of the book is that it is for someone who doesn't know how to cook written by someone who is an ordinary cook at best. It also has the specific name of someone in the title; yet people buy the book in e-format and paperback every day, and they can't all be named Katie, can they?

In short, instead of saying, "That should have worked" I find myself saying, "That shouldn't have worked."  

Life continues to surprise us, and maybe it's a good idea to focus more often on the happy surprising endings than the dull process of problems that didn't resolve as logic dictated they would.

Daphne Simpkins writes about life in the South, church, cooking and caregiving. Her most recent novel is Christmas in Fountain City .

Ben Hogan's Golf Swing

 

  After having heard one time too many the reference to the runner in "Chariots of Fire" proclaim that he can feel God's pleasure in his running, I, without really planning to, began to look around for a sports quote that I could launch and use for myself as an inspiration to keep running my own race, which is writing.

     Strangely, though I am not a golfer, I found my inspiration in Ben Hogan's comments about practicing his golf swing.

• The only thing a golfer needs is more sunlight. 
• Placing the ball in the right position for the next shot is eighty percent of winning golf.
• I learn something new about the game almost every time I step on the course.  
• Don't ever just swing the club. Always know what you are trying to accomplish with each swing. 

      That last idea drawn from an old book I read years ago about Hogan caused me to rethink drafting and brainstorming in writing.  Built in to the writing process is an idea that you have to brainstorm and create drafts, but over time, you learn enough about writing to not need the brainstorming/drafting process as much. 

      In short, those early steps of any new writing project become over time, a warm-up, and after a while, your muscles stay warmed up all the time.  To continue drafting and brainstorming was no longer a helpful step in the process; it was a procrastinating, self indulgent habit that impeded my productivity, but because those two steps are so deeply ingrained and stamped with approval by others I didn't see the problem for a long time.  

     Remembering how Ben Hogan thought about swinging his club with intention checked me on it--disciplined me.  His discipline made me more disciplined, and I think that's what a sports metaphor can do.  

     Since then I tell this story to as many preachers as I can--not because I don't like that "Chariots of Fire" movie or like to be reminded that a runner once upon a time felt God's pleasure in his movements; it is just that I can feel God's pleasure in Ben Hogan's swing as well, and there are a lot more people sitting in church who play golf than run.  And there are some of us who don't do either but can imagine both.

Daphne Simpkins doesn't write about golf except when a character needs to understand a swing. She writes about church life in the South. Her first Mildred Budge Novel in a series about church ladies: Mildred Budge in Cloverdale

A Cure for Church Apathy: Better Flyers Part 1

As an ice breaker at a recent church luncheon I asked the audience, 

"What's the biggest problem in church fellowship today?" 

     "Apathy," replied a retired minister sitting at a front table.

      Around him other church people non-apathetically nodded agreement.  Me, too.

      While I was looking out at an assortment of happy faces at well-filled tables, I have faced other kinds of audiences and been sitting in the midst of audiences that were sluggish, disinterested, snoozing--enduring a church event in the name of good church citizenship or duty.

      Since then I have paid attention to ways we could change that dynamic, and though I am now a writer of books and on a speakers bureau, once upon a time I was a teacher of business writing, and there was one central idea that I used year after year in a college classroom which was:   Understand that the purpose you have in writing a document may not be the benefit an envisioned reader or audience will need to respond to that document.

     In any business document, you need to accomplish your purpose while providing a projected benefit for a reader, or in the case of churches, congregants.

That is sometimes hard to do, if you have not stopped to think about the benefit for the reader or church member. Sometimes in the planning of an event we are simply focused on trying to get the date, time, occasion and name of the speaker spelled correctly that we forget that the audience we are inviting is not obligated to care about our event.  We must give them a reason to care--we must provide the hope of personal gain, a promised advantage.

       This goal is further stymied by the now heavy reliance upon word processing templates to produce flyers, and these pre-designed formats with blanks to fill in are a seductive tool of business writing in churches and elsewhere.  They create attractive documents and are often prepared by people who are donating their time.  Their time and efforts of volunteers are appreciated and the attractiveness of the produced documents so unembarrasingly good that we think the result is a good flyer. So often, the flyer itself fulfills its potential as a template design and lets us mark a check by the box:  job to do: create template.  Job done.  But that purpose completed does not always meet that sister goal of providing a benefit for the reader or invited audience.

        Most likely you will simply add the name of the event and factual pieces of information.  To install a benefit for the reader you are going to have to look carefully at the various blanks or modules you can fill in and choose the place where you can attract the reader's eye and interest with a benefit of attendance linked to the subject of the event. Sometimes the benefit is information needed. Sometimes the benefit is entertainment.  Whatever the benefit is, know it and couple it with the title of the event.

     As for artwork, it is tempting to simply use a head shot of the guest speaker. But unless that speaker is famous or especially attractive, that head shot will not necessarily do more than introduce the face of someone to strangers.  If you are hosting the event to build fellowship and introduce members to one another even that is not enough of a benefit to create an audience. Personal loyalty and politeness to other church members wears out as fast as emotional appeals and requests for money.

      To strengthen the appeal of the event, consider which part of the story of your event you want to emphasize, and find artwork that does that.  The head shot can usually be placed in a less prominent position somewhere lower on the flyer or left off altogether.

      If the head shot is an extract from a church directory, most likely the speaker would prefer you don't use that picture at all.  For example, I recently gave a talk at a church luncheon on Will Rogers.  The preparer of the flyer used my lackluster picture from the church directory; an easily obtainable picture of Will Rogers holding his signature lariat would have been a much more effective art choice for the wisdom and humor of Will Rogers was the draw to the event--not me. I was just the one talking about him.

     That's the real dynamic of the presentation I give, and as I think about ways to help future preparers of flyers for this talk create those flyers, I think about churches, which struggle with church attendance to various very worthy events, and I think, 'Apathy could be overcome, if you remember to add a benefit while you are fulfilling your own purpose in planning the event.'

      Don't just tell them about an event.  Give them a reason to attend, and if they can see a benefit for themselves, they will come.   According to Will Rogers, they have time: "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."

      A template will help you save time in preparing a document, like a flyer; but unless you add a benefit for the reader that helps you fulfill your purpose, you are simply filling in blanks that will perpetuate apathy--not solve it.

Daphne Simpkins writes about many subjects, but her novels are about church life.  The most recent is about raising money in a church  at Christmastime, Christmas in Fountain City

Kisses in the workplace

Increasingly while I continue to tweak my signature block for all kinds of emails, people writing to me keep blowing e-kisses using icons instead of providing contact information in their work documents.

I thought blowing me a kiss an oddity at first—figured it was just a person with an affectionate nature on the loose blowing kisses to me over the Internet. Now I get these  puckered lips, yellow and red e-kisses all the time in personal and workplace documents.

In personal emails, that’s okay with me--amusing even. I blow a few kisses myself now, and in real life, I have to stop myself from blowing fingertip kisses to people coming and going and sometimes the preacher when he first stands up behind the pulpit, all lonely and high up with the light in his eyes and his stomach rumbling because sometimes our guy fasts before he preaches.

There are a lot of reasons to want to blow a kiss to your early morning preacher who has to talk meaningfully and inoffensively to a great number of sleepy, also hungry people who have their own ideas, and sometimes, because there is such a great gulf of a distance between us and because I am so fond of him, I want to shout out, “Morning to you!” but we don’t shout out in our church either.  About the best I can do is waft a blown fingertip kiss to him, but I don’t because it would make him nervous I think—all that windblown affection and good will coming at him when he’s trying to talk about sin and heaven.

So I restrain the gusto of my affection and good will for him by not blowing him a kiss and use it in emails and texts to say yes to invitations to lunch,😘 see ya later😘, and happy birthday😘.

But at work?

I don’t blow kisses at work.

I don’t blow e-kisses in work documents.

I use my words instead to communicate as clearly as possible what I mean to say, and they are professional words of helpfulness and expressions of gratitude and apologies and words carefully chosen that respect the boundaries of discourse and prove, I hope, that I would not care to be misunderstood by someone thinking that a blown kiss is an invitation to some real kissin’ cause there are serious rules about no love explored in the workplace that could become litigious (sexual harassment) or cause people up and down a workplace hierarchy to question whether getting work done is the same as doing and getting favors.  Real work relies upon good will, and good will can actually be misunderstood if it shows up at work in a blown kiss.

Good will expressed at work happens in other ways. In writing formal letters and e-notes it often shows up at the end in the complimentary close right before the signature and which some people reduce to one word "Best" and others write out "Best regards" and still others write, "Yours truly" and sometimes, "Sincerely."  However, I have never cottoned to that word "Sincerely" as a complimentary close for it refers to an odd state of emotional integrity that asserts in one word  "I mean what I say" and one assumes that others always mean what they say.  The same is true of blowing e-kisses.  Be careful out there.  On a certain kind of windy day--and you never know which way the wind will blow--those sincerely blown e-kisses could set off all kinds of alarms and a few fires.

Daphne's book about cooking for the one you love is called A Cookbook for Katie

Begin workplace documents where the reader's interest ignites--not when you began to think about it.

Nothing gets said more often by a frustrated person who needs to write a workplace document than “I don’t know where to begin!”

References will be made about fear of the blank page or maybe he or she will claim to have writer’s block.

Whatever the real cause or excuse for not knowing how to start a document, there is a way to think about beginning a document by remembering tiresome ways not to begin a document:

Start where the content of your information needs to be released not with a report of when you started thinking about how to organize it or your thought processes behind the document. Speakers and preachers often do this and throw away their best opportunity to connect with a listener by explaining why you have been thinking about a subject and how you plan to speak about it. When a speaker does that or a writer explains how he or she is going to express something and why you create a very big yawn in your reader that he or she struggles to stifle from then on out.  Keep the explanation of why you are going to write and how you came to write it to yourself.   Find the real beginning.

To find the beginning try writing that information down and then watch yourself shift to the content that you need to provide. It will show up on the page but perhaps not until page three or so.  Then, delete the very long preamble or explanation and start at the real beginning, where the content that needs to be shared or released takes hold.

Learning to recognize where that beginning exists in your writing process will solve that mystery of where to begin for many other documents that you will need to produce for we each have an organizing pattern that is a part of our own process, and the more you write the more familiar you will become with your pattern of organization.

Start writing, and write towards the truthful beginning.  That beginning is where you think the reader will find his or her starting point of interest--not a report of when and how you began to think about writing the document.

Daphne's latest book is Christmas in Fountain City

How to write a thank-you note for work

Do you write thank-you notes these days?

Most people don’t, but they are still vitally needed in professional situations especially.

Expressions of gratitude don’t need to be as formally crafted as Thomas Jefferson might have written one on a piece of personalized stationary, but in professional settings they should appear in a timely way on company letterhead, especially if the gratitude being expressed is for a requested donation of goods and services for some kind of charitable event.

Three considerations to keep in mind when taking the time to be courteous:

1.       They should be written to the liaison who arranged for the contribution and any other person involved in the delivery of the contribution should be acknowledged in the body of that letter. 

2.       The company’s name should also be stated as part of the thank-you note because the company will often contribute to a cause or foundation in order to build good will in the community.  That good will doesn’t grow unless the company’s name is recognized.

3.       The amount or type of gift or action should be expressly named because thank-you letters become part of the documentation that companies needs to keep records and report actions to others who are trusting them to fulfill these tasks with integrity.

Satisfying the urge or need to say thank you in other ways will often backfire if they don’t provide the needed documentation, seem carelessly written, or lack the professionalism that others expect in their workplace colleagues. Here are three ways not to send a thank-you note for a gift or contribution:

1.  A text message sent only to the liaison of the gift places the liaison in a very uncomfortable position of looking as if he/she stole the company’s glory—hijacked the good will and reputation the company deserves.   

2.  Sending only a text message to the liaison will determine whether that person will be eager to play ambassador again.  He or she won’t because it puts his/her job or reputation in jeopardy.

3.  The same content used in a direct message on Facebook or an email doesn’t serve the receiving party well either.  Why?  It doesn’t provide the good will that the company needs or the tool the board or the people responsible for making the decision to give need in order to prove that the monies or goods were put to worthwhile use.  The thank-you note functions as a kind of documentation for the board, and without it, the board or other management members have only word of mouth.   Making a one-size fits all Facebook update post adding the names of the contributors doesn’t do the job of saying thank-you either.  It isn’t personal, and hoping that announcement will reach all of the people responsible for making the gift is cavalier and ill considered.

Writing a real thank-you note takes the carelessness out of other ways that people try to quickly say thanks without taking the time to say it thoughtfully, carefully, in ways that can be shared with all the people who had a vote in how to be generous for the good of all involved.

If you haven’t sent a thank-you note or letter lately, consider why not. Then, resolve that in order to work more harmoniously with others, taking the time to say thank you in all the ways that you can and in the ways where it is required more formally is worth the investment of your time and words.

Daphne's latest book is Christmas in Fountain City

Your work habits are your real resume.

Almost everyone at some time has to document their work and educational history for prospective employers.  We do it in interviews and also on resumes.  But that guarded careful conversation called an interview or that carefully crafted document called a resume doesn't tell more about you than your work habits do--the habits that your references will know and report, or just people who know you will.

Your colleagues and fellow employees could write out a real resume for you by answering these questions about you.  Which ones apply to you?

Do you get to work on time?
Do you have a lot of explanations and excuses for being late or unprepared?
Do you return phone calls promptly?
Do you answer emails in complete sentences on point using language that is not abbreviated and makes sense?
Do you rely upon emojis and misspelled dialect words to hide your fear of being discovered as someone with inadequate communication skills?
Do you say "thank you" easily and often?
Do you place the words "I am" in front of the word "sorry" or is "Sorry" the most you can apologize?
Do you exaggerate the truth or spin the facts of the truth to benefit yourself?
Do you share credit at work when teamwork produced positive results?
Do you say yes to opportunities to get more training more at work, or do you answer:  "If it ain't broken I don't need to fix it."  (Translated:  If I don't know it, I don't need to know it.)
Do you add a disclaimer to messages like "Message dictated; expect mistakes" to make it the burden of your reader to figure out what you are trying to say?

If you are making it the burden of any of your colleagues to fill in the gaps for content you leave out, he or she will know and supply the kind of content you won't want from your references or on your resume.
Change the behaviors now, and the reports of your work habits will improve along with opportunities for advancement.  This is how your real-life resume grows along with you.

Daphne's newest book is Christmas in Fountain City

The chickens know how to lay the eggs.

Recently while researching the life of W. C. Handy, I read a story about a man who had a chicken farm but who was out selling insurance.  When asked why he was doing both, the insurance salesman replied:  "The chickens know how to lay the eggs."  His point?  The chickens could be doing their work while he did some other kind of work.

Today we casually and differently refer to doing more than one job as multi-tasking, but I think this chicken-farmer-turned-insurance-salesman's story tells the truth about how multi-tasking gets its value--from productivity, not simply by being busy performing tasks that can be done better sequentially than juggled simultaneously.

It is one kind of activity to start a load of laundry and then while it's washing sweep the kitchen.
It is another kind of activity to start a load of laundry and then go door to door selling encyclopedias.
The difference is profit.

There is a time in the working life of anyone where you start certain actions in motion and then you do not need to watch the chickens lay eggs or the washing machine wash. You are free to engage in other activities, but in business, those activities should ideally be profit oriented--the hope of making progress. That is the authenticity and purpose fulfilled of real multi-tasking.

We are often duped into thinking multi-tasking is something else, like checking email while talking on the phone.  That activity is splitting your attention, but it doesn't necessarily mean you do either or both tasks well.  There is a difference in a job done halfway and a job done very well.  There is an important difference in paying close attention to others in a focused way, too, so that people feel seen, heard, and understood rather than managed like an item on the to-do list that gets checked.

Multi-tasking dupes us in other ways, too.  It's sneaky.  Because we are busy being busy, we may discover that we are not doing the work we need to do--we are just doing something that makes us feel better about ourselves, but we are not accomplishing what needs to be done. In this way, sometimes multi-tasking is a form of procrastinating--doing stuff we want to do rather than the stuff we don't want to do. Because we are busy, we think we have the excuse of being busy. But that is not an excuse for avoiding work that needs to be done.

After reading that story about the chicken farmer selling insurance, I asked, 'How often do I walk away from a task to let it steep or lay its own eggs when it really needs me to be there and finish something I've begun?' For often multi-tasking is a form of procrastination when we put off finishing a task--we have started it but didn't stay around to finish it.

I look ahead to my work week and wonder when does the explanation multitasking fit and when is it an excuse to give less than my best effort, most focused concentration, my serious accountable-for- the-outcome results attention.  Certainly chickens don't need me to watch them to do their laying of eggs, but so many of the activities of work do need nurturing, watering, tending, and follow through. If you pride yourself on being a high-volume multi-tasker, can you truly say you are paying close attention to the work and relationships that require your best work and closest attention?

I can't. I am guilty of multi-tasking in ways to avoid my responsibilities and so that I have an excuse for failing at doing the work I should be doing.  But that chicken farmer turned insurance salesman got my attention.

From now on I shall pay attention to how I think about my work and how I use the excuse of multitasking to quit or procrastinate rather than the real and truthful explanation at times that while my particular brand of chickens don't need me to watch them lay eggs, there are times in the work day when it is my job to feed the chickens or gather the eggs.  I shall be careful to be attentive enough to the process involved in real-value productivity to finish my part of the work without excuses of any kind.

Daphne's latest book is not about making money; it is about giving, and it's called Christmas in Fountain City

On Holiday From The Holiday

On Holiday From The Holiday

Are Christmas cards obsolete as a business tool?

Last Christmas my friends and I compared notes about how many Christmas cards we still send--or don't. Discussion ensued about the cost of the cards themselves, postage, and the easily accessible and so much faster electronic ways to send good will greetings, which are harder to send universally because of the variances in messages that are acceptable in terms of religious emphasis.

We concluded that we don't know how businesses can send out any kind of specific Christmas card anymore without possibly offending or alienating some of its clients or customers. And we don't think people need to prove their faith by sending overtly religious cards just to prove they're not afraid to do it.

Like the discussion of the Confederate flag and whether it represents racism or history, the sending of Christmas cards gets tangled up in discussions of faith and free speech.   For inside the Christian faith, like all faiths really, there is this persevering dogged determination to finish the race that has begun without losing faith, and saying "Merry Christmas" is as much about declaring that perseverance and intention to continue to persevere as it is any other message.  For this reason, some people find strength in saying "Merry Christmas".  To them, it is drawing breath from the moment when they first believed that sin is real, Jesus paid a price for it, and they will live their lives honoring the gift of Christ to the world celebrated in the Bethlehem story where this gift of grace is announced. Still, other people say "Merry Christmas" without thinking too much about saying anything else, and some people are surprised that it is Christmas again.  Already?  Didn't we just have that?

These are not the people who send Christmas cards, but they most likely will begin receiving them soon while some of us consider whether this habit of sending old-fashioned paper greeting cards through the expensive snail mail needs to continue.

There is no universal right or wrong response.

Today I received two personal Christmas cards from a niece and a nephew with photos of their children taken throughout the year.  I didn't notice what kind of greeting there was. I was just very glad to see the pictures.

Later in the day while at the drugstore I considered buying some Christmas cards but didn't find any I liked.  I will eventually, or I won't.  Maybe I'll find the right card after Christmas and buy some for next year.  I've done this a few times.  For I still send some to people I think about more than they know I think about them, and I like to send them a card not so much because they need to hear from me but because my affection for them is so ongoing and sincere that I need to express it. That may be as much because I am a writer as it is because I am their friend.

Do I fret very much about the political or religious correctness of the message and image I choose to send ultimately.  Sort of. I don't like to send overtly Christian sentiments to my Jewish friends or friends of other faiths because that feels bullying and disrespectful.  I don't feel that I am betraying my faith by thinking like that.  Rather, I hope that my friends know that my faith in the saving gift of Christ to the world means that I get to love everybody and I love everybody but I love them especially. That's pretty much what I mean when I send a Christmas card with "Merry Christmas" or "Happy holidays" on it.

It also doesn't mean that I don't love you especially if I don't send a card. If you are a friend of mine and don't receive a card it most likely means that I ran out of the small number of cards I bought and your name ends far enough down on the alphabet that I didn't make it to you, or I started at the bottom of the alphabet list this year and didn't make it to the top. It could also mean that I ran out of stamps and didn't want to go to the post office during this busy time of year when lots of people still stand in line to send packages and buy stamps for their cards.

This year I am still one of those people who continues  to send Christmas cards and is always glad to receive them, too, except from businesses whose message in the card has nothing to do with religion  They are more often about trying to sell me something in the new year. I don't like those cards and throw them away because they don't keep faith with the way that I keep faith at Christmas.  For me, sending Christmas cards is about love being expressed anyway you want to share it with the people you really love.  I love so many people that the Christmas season is too short for me, which is why I intermittently send all kinds of cards all year long.

Daphne's most recent book is:  Christmas in Fountain City

Audience analysis? Asked differently, "Who are other people?"

This question gets answered in all kinds of ways in the workplace, and experts who counsel others in marketing have all kinds of theories about how to assess who other people are.  They do this often in terms of categories like age, gender, level of education, and status.

Self-evident clues like factual tidbits tell others something about readers and customers and workplace colleagues, but they can’t solve the ultimate mystery of who other people are for their needs and personalities and drives and mysterious responses are as fluid as your own.  You can have a good day. You can have a bad day. Someone can be nice to you. Someone can be rude to you. It could be your birthday or an anniversary—either of which you would like to remember or forget.  The circumstances surrounding other people and the moments when they intersect with the words you have written are as fluid as the stimuli—both inner and outer—that affect the way you think and how you respond.

Does that mean you can’t figure out your reader?  Not necessarily and it also means that you don’t have to figure out your reader altogether. Writing with mindfulness about who is reading your work begins with what all people share everyone and that is a need for respect.

Respect the job the workplace document needs to perform and fulfill that basic goal.

Respect the reader's time by providing that content efficiently and in a style that does not impede understanding what is meant.

Respect the reader by choosing words that fulfill the task of providing unbiased content.

Respect sounds like courtesy.

Courtesy builds relationships out of discipline and takes the guess work out of doing it right or wrong.

To prove this consider the format of a business letter.  Here are its inherent structural parts which exist for logic’s sake but serve the nature of consideration called courtesy.

The return address:  Tells the reader right away who you are and how to get in touch with you.

The inside address:  Acknowledges the reader and allows him/her to see that you know his/her title.

The salutation:  Achieve instantaneous connection with the reader just by using his or her name respectfully (Rule of thumb:  Use the last name with the title until you have been invited to use the first name.)

First paragraph:  Makes a connection by announcing the purpose of the letter or connect the content of the letter to a question that has been asked so that no one has to read your mind about the intention of the letter.

Body of letter:  Provides the information that is required for documentation purposes or solving of a problem.

Complimentary close:  Supply a gracious good-bye--the kind you make in a doorway before you leave. (Tip:  Use a comma after the complimentary close, such as: Sincerely yours, )

Your signature:  Make it plain who you are again and for business purposes build your name recognition.  (Be reminded that in social settings when someone is introduced names are repeated back and forth in order for people to hear the name again in case he/she misses it the first time.  It might sound like this:  Jim Davis meet Lynn Smith.  Lynn meet Jim.) See how your return address and the signature at the bottom repeat this act of courtesy?

Asking the question about who other people are in order to write more mindfully is a process that never ends. You begin it and continue to do it, and people around you who are aware of how important it is to signal respect and build relationships in the workplace in order to create trust and increase productivity make a habit of relying upon the discipline of courtesy to keep the friendly exchange of information flowing with respectful good will. When that happens you don’t have to solve all the mysteries of who everyone is; you simply need to prove day after day that you are on top of your workload and handling your responsibilities in a timely and respectful way.

The natural trust that results from that discipline of professionalism will do the rest.

 Daphne's most recent book is about the tension between giving at Christmas and the kind of fundraising that goes on year round in churches:  Christmas in Fountain City

How do you know when your word choices and expressions need a make-over?

We are so accustomed to saying what we've always said that we forget that our word choice and expressions can become routine and tiresome to others.

Not only can they become tiring and repetitive, like "you know" and "etcetera, etcetera, etcetera" they can also have dated quality.

It's one thing to use the word "Groovy" as as kind of joke while watching a 70's program, but it's another event to keep using it in the 21st century without a 70's or even an 80's reference in sight.

The same awkwardness comes from using phrases like "You da bomb" which went out of fashion about three months after it was launched.

Just because you like saying something doesn't mean other people enjoy hearing it, and if they cringe when they hear it but don't tell you, it's like having bad breath and no one tells you it's time to change toothpaste or use a mouthwash.

So how do you fix a problem that you don't know about like repetitive word choices and dated expressions?

Listen to yourself.     Re-read your texts sent to others.

                                                                           

                                                                                   

Are you seeing a pattern of repeating yourself?   Do you use the very same words and phrases--dated or not--with everyone in your circle to acknowledge an accomplishment or to avoid saying "thank you" or "I'm sorry"?   For many over used expressions are often place holders for other kinds of expressions that need to be made.

Reexamine what you are trying to communicate not only to them but about yourself, and assess whether you are accomplishing both goals.  Then take another look at your last few days of texts, and see if you have written the words "thank you" or "I'm sorry"  lately and ponder whether some of those over-used expressions were meant to cover up not wanting to be grateful because it feels vulnerable to you to be grateful or I'm sorry because it feels weak to you to apologize.

Depending upon what you discover about yourself and your expressions, find some other ways to communicate your enthusiasm or gratitude.   If you can't think of something catchy or phrases that make you feel hip or contemporary, try using the simple words you truly need to say instead.  The simple truth works pretty well in almost all circumstances and with all people of all ages and gender.

Daphne Simpkins' newest book is Christmas in Fountain City

Will Rogers: American Humorist (a story about a flyer)

Recently a flyer was created to announce that I would be speaking on Will Rogers, the American humorist, for an older group of people who enjoy the good food at the place where they meet once a
month and know who Will Rogers is--and not necessarily who I am.

Rogers is a great subject, rich in humor and acerbic wisdom that holds true today (live your life so that you are unafraid to give the family parrot to the town gossip).   He is the most important aspect of the presentation and second to him is the audience, who has had to listen to a great number of talks in their lives and should be treated with great care and consideration. Exquisite care.  Respectful consideration.  You cannot underestimate the amount of time spent in consideration of a group of listeners and readers when it comes to creating a document that acts as a matchmaker:  it introduces two different entities to each other.  In the case of the flyer for my talk, Rogers and the audience are the two parties who need to be introduced to one another.

I am the less important part of the story told in the flyer.  But if you must tell my story to introduce Rogers' story to the audience use a picture that evokes story and interest—not a head shot or a selfie.  Figure out the part of your personality as a speaker that will most appeal to an audience and choose a picture of you to appeal to them and signal: I’m this kind of person.

People are aware that images matter, but they don’t always know how to help you with these images. 

“Are you going to dress up as Will Rogers?” a friend asked me, who had heard about the talk and likes to dress up when she gives a presentation. 

“No,” I replied, keeping the reasons to myself.   

When giving a speech, I am not acting, so I do not need a costume. 

Like a person who is not acting while giving a speech and does not need a costume, so a flyer that is telling a story of an event does not need a get-up or decorations to make it a powerful matchmaking document.

 It does require thought from the creator.  And the first thought is that the template that is chosen should not dictate the lowest possible denominator of content chosen to highlight about the event.

Each presentation should be considered in terms of which part of it is most important, less important, least important.  Once that hierarchy of significance is confirmed, choose the content that fits the template.

For the Will Rogers presentation, a picture of that lassoing cowboy should have been used in that premiere spot rather than the easily-grabbed picture of me from the church directory that is four years old and not only not flattering (lighting is bad, angle of my head is strained to help the photographer not add a garish light to my eye glass lenses) there is no story.  It is just an image of a woman from the church directory.  Because I am not a famous person there is no immediate connotative value either.  It is just an innocuous picture chosen for the flyer because it was easy to find and use.  That should never be the reason you choose artwork for your fly, especially if the artwork dominates the flyer.

                                                                             

The content of the photo caption and the headline for the flyer:  Will Rogers, American Humorist and Political Satirist is almost enough.  Add the date, the time and the name of the speaker.

The next time it is your job to create a flyer for an event, take the time to think about the three decisions that need to be made before you create a flyer:

1. What’s the most important part of the event:  the subject of the event or the person talking or presenting?
2. Who is the audience and what about that event will matter the most to them?
3. What is the least important part of this event?  Add whatever image or piece of information that enhances that needed emphasis, like previously published books or articles.

Then, use a font and type size that is readable and almost never written in reverse print—any kind of white letters on any kind of dense, solid color or black.  Dark letters on a light or white background are more readable than white lettering on a dark background.

Stay with those three (okay, four) considerations and your flyer will draw more people to your event because it will meet the needs and interest of the audience before it tries to communicate any other message.

Daphne Simpkins offers a speech on Will Rogers through the Alabama Humanities Foundation speakers bureau.  Her latest book is Christmas in Fountain City

New book by Alabama writer Daphne Simpkins: Christmas in Fountain City

Press Release from Quotidian Books

RE:  New Release Christmas in Fountain City

Contact:  QuotidianToday@gmail.com

Synopsis of Christmas in Fountain City:

Ostensibly a simple love story set in a small Southern town not unlike Prattville, Alabama, Christmas in Fountain City takes on bigger themes than the holiday or how and when to use the phrase “Merry Christmas.”   Thematically tied to a  fundraising slogan called “Faith Promise,”  the residents of Fountain City explore giving from a variety of angles, and reach the conclusion that the love they have for each other is enough to keep them looking out for one another and even strangers.

The eighth book by Alabama writer Daphne Simpkins, Christmas in Fountain City is a feel-good read which  has arrived just in time for the holidays but also in time for the January discussions that happen inside churches which involve pledge cards for missions and other goals for the coming year.

For jpegs of Daphne Simpkins or the book cover, contact:  QuotidianToday@gmail.com

About Daphne Simpkins:

Daphne Simpkins has written over two hundred articles, essays and short stories which have been published in the United States and Canada in periodicals like The Chicago Tribune, The Baltimore Sun, Tropic Magazine, The Christian Century, the Christian Courier, Esprit, and many others.  Named recently by MOSAIC magazine as a top speaker in the state, Daphne is an active member of The Alabama Humanities Foundation Road Scholars Speakers Bureau.  She may be contacted at DaphneSimpkins@gmail.com

Christmas in Fountain City

Do you need a bigger vocabulary in the workplace?

Chances are you are moaning about the size of your vocabulary.  Most people feel self- conscious about the size or limitations of their vocabulary, which is too bad because most people have a set of words at their disposal that will tell the truth just fine in the workplace. 

The words in your vocabulary are timeless and potentially each one is valuable for all kinds of reasons.  The precise word is what you need, but sometimes you will choose a word for the way it sounds and fits inside a sentence or because it is a go-to word and you have forgotten to think carefully about the impact of certain words upon readers.  It isn’t complicated.  Just use the precise word that you need to say what you want to say.  It can be a short, good word.  For instance, when some people are trying to sound more businesslike, he/she might choose the word “utilize” over “use.”  But “use” works just fine, and it doesn’t sound better or impress the reader, which is why people often use it.  Don’t look up any big words to show off.   Everyone has enough words to write in the workplace because the words you use in the workplace should be everyday words—not dress up words or big words for the sake of using big words.  Choose words for clarity.  Choose them for color or action or courtesy.  Choose them mindfully with a purpose you hope to achieve.  Choose them for the sake and interest of your envisioned reader.

 You don’t have to learn 100 new words; you simply need to be more careful about using the ten most commonly overused and not specific-enough words:

1.        Things—vague and over used
2.        Do—an all-purpose verb that often stands in for actions like chop, mow, eat lunch
3.          Get—Listen to yourself use this word and ask:  Which action am I trying to point to with this vague imprecise word?  Use that verb instead of get.
4.         So—For a word as small as this one, “so” tries to accomplish some very big jobs. Most often that job is to prove a logical conclusion that may not exist.  Listen to how people use “so” and you will see it as the connector between one action and the implied effect of that action. Just because people use the word “so” to connect an action to an effect doesn’t mean that the conclusion is trustworthy or reliable.  That is true of how the word sounds to other people, and when you use “so” very often and recklessly, others may view your logic in just the same way.
5.        A lot—A description for many items or a great deal of time, money or things in general.  If your answer is:  a lot of things, then you are using two vague ideas to try and represent a concept or item that is much more specific than these two words.
6.        Is—Try to see this soft, passive verb as a yellow caution light.  When you see it and you are the person who wrote it, ask yourself:  “Is there an action verb that could precisely replace it?”   Sister words for is include:  are, was, were, be, being, and been. 
7.       Awesome—This word is almost a filler now and means about as much as the sound of a sneeze or conversational fillers, such as “Hmmmm” or “Yay.”  Look for the adjective that describes that awesome sunset, that awesome dessert, that awesome song, that awesome bug on the wall and any other focus that has your attention.
8.       Amazing—See the above description for awesome. The same logic applies.
9.        You—Think “you” for the reader but don’t use the word very often in writing.  Minimize its use because while many writers intend for the use of the word to create a bond with the reader, it can sometimes feel to the reader as if he/she is being jabbed in the chest with a pointed finger.
10.     I—Presently our culture is built on building everyone’s self-esteem by celebrating the “I” in all of us.  Celebrate other people more than you do yourself, and you will be a far more effective communicator and your self-esteem and theirs will be just fine.

Maybe you use or overuse some words not on that small list of ten words. They key to creating a sharper and more powerful vocabulary is to know which words you overuse and start using more precise words that say exactly what you mean.

            Here are the key ideas to remember about your vocabulary:

• ·          Big words are not more valuable than smaller words.  
• ·         You already have enough words.    
• ·         The right word carefully chosen is priceless.
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• Daphne Simpkins' newest book is Christmas in Fountain City